The message of this clear and sympathetic book is that dysfunctional relationships--characterized by predictable patterns of vicious circles - can be healed. Reassuring case histories, drawn from the author's own therapeutic practice, demonstrate why relationships disintegrate, and show how they can be made whole again. Here are proven techniques designed to short-circuit destructive habits. Readers will learn to use "diffusers" to keep conflicts from escalating, to gauge levels of emotional intimacy and identify barriers to closeness, to examine their own levels of communication and quality in listening, to use "I" statements to identify problematic issues, and uncover inter-generational patterns of dysfunction. For anyone seeking to improve a relationship or reconnect with a partner -with or without the aid of a therapist - this is essential reading.